In class this week I got a bruise on my knuckle. It made it hurt more to punch the bags. But at least it was in the right spot, so I know that I using the right part of my hand.
I haven’t posted a blog since May. I have gotten to the point that I feel physically sick every time I even think about writing a blog and how long it’s been since I published one. Sometimes I sit down and write one, try my hardest to express what I have been feeling. But I’m so bad with words and I really don’t like writing and I can never convey the things I feel on to paper. Sometimes I have a good idea for a blog whether it being about my forms or about class. But then I say to myself “I can’t post this, I haven’t done enough.” “You can’t post anything now.” So I leave them in drafts, I delete them. And by the time I might have picked up the courage to post them they have lost relevance. You can’t post something about a class that happened 3 weeks ago or a conversation that happened 2 week ago. I’m starting to lose the courage to post this blog already. So other then not blogging what have I been doing? Well I haven’t been doing enough pushups or sit ups, I have barely done my...
I have failed. For the last two months I have put out a total of two blogs. When I got my black belt I felt like there was now a pressure on me to write great meaningful blogs about kung fu and I got scared. I know basically nothing. Every time I tried to write a blog I kept second guessing myself, and worrying that I would say something wrong or it wouldn't be good enough. So I didn't post anything at all. And now I have failed. I have failed you guys and I have failed myself. I feel very disconnected to the team and it is completely my fault. I will be more consistent I promise. I'm sorry for letting this get out of hand.
One of the coolest things about the IHC is watching grow more comfortable with their weapons. At first everyone is just experiment with their new weapons, trying new moves and just getting a feel for it. At first, it’s all awkward movements and missed strikes, but over time, you can see them start to make it their own. Making a weapon form is about self-expression and learning how to move in a way that feels natural to you, while still having proper techniques. I'm still getting comfortable with my weapon. It's different then ones I have used in the past, that's part of the reason I chose it. I'm really excided to see how my forms come together. Push ups 530 Sit ups 530 Hand forms 25 Weapon forms 10 Sparring 10 Km 78 Art 780
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