In class this week I got a bruise on my knuckle. It made it hurt more to punch the bags. But at least it was in the right spot, so I know that I using the right part of my hand.
For my hand form this year I chose a school form that I have been doing my whole life, Da mu hsing. I chose it for many reasons, some being that I never learnt 5, others being that we haven't focused much in class on it. But the main reason was that it was my least favorite form. After I chose it I deeply regretted it, but that doesn't matter I couldn't go back, I would just have to live with it or change my perspective. At the start I just let it be because it was to much effort, instead I was just doing it for my numbers, not going any deeper then surface level. One day after class I was watching people do their forms, and the way they did it was mesmerizing. it inspired me to make my form a better bit by bit so maybe one day I could feel that way about me. I was focusing on the first one and started asking people to watch and critique my form. Now my favorite form is the first Da mu hsing. All I have to do is do it again 4 more times.
One Good and One Bad thing about myself. It is very hard to think of my good qualities because I don't want to be arrogant. I do think I am smart - I say that because I do good at school. I work hard to understand. Pushing myself even when I dont want to. Trying to do my best. If I do not understand something I practice and ask for help. I don't think I am kind. I feel like I am sometimes, but when I'm not constently thinking about it I'm not. I'm mean even when I have the option to be nice. I think I need to focus more and be conscious about being nice. I know I can be. But a lot of the time I am not. 850 Push Ups 1,050 Sit Ups 93 Ks 164 Hand Form 60 Weapon 9 parring Favorite word I learned this week: Apoplectic : Overcome with anger; extremely indignant
Every time I think about all the things I have to do for my grading year, I start thinking of all the things I still need to do and the time is just running out. It's particualary hard to think of my 5 techniques. When I see a punch coming I freeze (I know this is really bad), so every time I try to protect myself I just get really overwhelmed and go down a rabbit hole. I would keep telling myself "if every thing keeps going at this pace I am going to get no where." So every time I try to practice my 5 techniques I end up having a break down. When people try to help me I end up hurting them when I don't mean to and that just makes me spiral even more. I am so grateful for the people that stayed with me and helped me and pushed me even when I told them to go away. At this point I have 2 techniques 1,380 Push Ups 1,610 Sit Ups 109 Ks 194 Hand Form 150 Weapon 20 Sparring Favorite word I learned this week: Trepidation : A feeling of fear or agitation about somethin...
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