In class this week I got a bruise on my knuckle. It made it hurt more to punch the bags. But at least it was in the right spot, so I know that I using the right part of my hand.
I haven’t posted a blog since May. I have gotten to the point that I feel physically sick every time I even think about writing a blog and how long it’s been since I published one. Sometimes I sit down and write one, try my hardest to express what I have been feeling. But I’m so bad with words and I really don’t like writing and I can never convey the things I feel on to paper. Sometimes I have a good idea for a blog whether it being about my forms or about class. But then I say to myself “I can’t post this, I haven’t done enough.” “You can’t post anything now.” So I leave them in drafts, I delete them. And by the time I might have picked up the courage to post them they have lost relevance. You can’t post something about a class that happened 3 weeks ago or a conversation that happened 2 week ago. I’m starting to lose the courage to post this blog already. So other then not blogging what have I been doing? Well I haven’t been doing enough pushups or sit ups, I have barely done my...
I have failed. For the last two months I have put out a total of two blogs. When I got my black belt I felt like there was now a pressure on me to write great meaningful blogs about kung fu and I got scared. I know basically nothing. Every time I tried to write a blog I kept second guessing myself, and worrying that I would say something wrong or it wouldn't be good enough. So I didn't post anything at all. And now I have failed. I have failed you guys and I have failed myself. I feel very disconnected to the team and it is completely my fault. I will be more consistent I promise. I'm sorry for letting this get out of hand.
Last Monday I got to go to the adult classes. This was the first time I went since I got a black belt. Which was a bit weird, and scary. This is because I was in front of the class(bowing in) and now having to help out in the class I used to be in, which was different but still enjoyable. I didn't actually do any teaching of a group, although I was given the opportunity, there was one person who didn't have sparing mitts so we both went to the back and I was running applications with them. Which was scary because it was on the spot and I had no clue what I was doing. 50,000 50,000 1,000 1,000 1,000 1,609 1,000 9,000 Total 3450 3790 176 112 103 287 336 3900 Amount Left 46,550 46,210 824 888 897 1,322 664 5,100 # I should be 12891 12891 258 258 258 415 258 2320 Per Day 130 130 3 3 3 4 3 23 Push-ups Sit-ups Hand Form Weapon Form Sparring Kilometers AOKs Art
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