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What am I doing?

I haven’t posted a blog since May. I have gotten to the point that I feel physically sick every time I even think about writing a blog and how long it’s been since I published one. Sometimes I sit down and write one, try my hardest to express what I have been feeling. But I’m so bad with words and I really don’t like writing and I can never convey the things I feel on to paper. Sometimes I have a good idea for a blog whether it being about my forms or about class. But then I say to myself “I can’t post this, I haven’t done enough.” “You can’t post anything now.” So I leave them in drafts, I delete them. And by the time I might have picked up the courage to post them they have lost relevance. You can’t post something about a class that happened 3 weeks ago or a conversation that happened 2 week ago. I’m starting to lose the courage to post this blog already.  So other then not blogging what have I been doing? Well I haven’t been doing enough pushups or sit ups, I have barely done my...
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Practicing my forms

Today I got to work on my forms with my sibling. I worked on the part of Mlong Kuen that I already knew and solidified it, but I also worked on learning a few more moves in the form. I figured out parts I was doing wrong as well as more of it, and now I feel a lot more confident with the part of the form I have. We spend about an hour going back and forth doing our forms. It was fun because we were listening to music as we were practicing. It was also more motivating to do it with someone else pushing me forward.  50,000 50,000 1,000 1,000 1,000 1,609 1,000 9,000 Total 3480 3830 191 112 113 297 351 4080 Amount Left 46,520 46,170 809 888 887 1,312 649 4,920 # I should be 13411 13411 268 268 268 432 268 2414 Per Day 130 130 3 3 3 4 3 23 Push-ups Sit-ups Hand Form Weapon Form Sparring Kilometers AOKs Art
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Adult Class

Last Monday I got to go to the adult classes. This was the first time I went since I got a black belt. Which was a bit weird, and scary. This is because I was in front of the class(bowing in) and now having to help out in the class I used to be in, which was different but still enjoyable. I didn't actually do any teaching of a group, although I was given the opportunity, there was one person who didn't have sparing mitts so we both went to the back and I was running applications with them. Which was scary because it was on the spot and I had no clue what I was doing.  50,000 50,000 1,000 1,000 1,000 1,609 1,000 9,000 Total 3450 3790 176 112 103 287 336 3900 Amount Left 46,550 46,210 824 888 897 1,322 664 5,100 # I should be 12891 12891 258 258 258 415 258 2320 Per Day 130 130 3 3 3 4 3 23 Push-ups Sit-ups Hand Form Weapon Form Sparring Kilometers AOKs Art
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Failure

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I have failed. For the last two months I have put out a total of two blogs. When I got my black belt I felt like there was now a pressure on me to write great meaningful blogs about kung fu and I got scared. I know basically nothing. Every time I tried to write a blog I kept second guessing myself, and worrying that I would say something wrong or it wouldn't be good enough. So I didn't post anything at all. And now I have failed. I have failed you guys and I have failed myself. I feel very disconnected to the team and it is completely my fault. I will be more consistent I promise. I'm sorry for letting this get out of hand.
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Watching

One of the coolest things about the IHC is watching grow more comfortable with their weapons. At first everyone is just experiment with their new weapons, trying new moves and just getting a feel for it. At first, it’s all awkward movements and missed strikes, but over time, you can see them start to make it their own. Making a weapon form is about self-expression and learning how to move in a way that feels natural to you, while still having proper techniques.  I'm still getting comfortable with my weapon. It's different then ones I have used in the past, that's part of the reason I chose it. I'm really excided to see how my forms come together. Push ups 530 Sit ups 530 Hand forms 25 Weapon forms 10 Sparring 10 Km 78 Art 780
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Start

 Hello!  My name is Aviva Csillag. I have been doing kung fu for 13 years and this is my 3rd year of participating in the I Ho Chuan. This year my weapon is the horse chopping blade, and my hand form is Mlong Kuen. One of my personal requirements is to do more art. This is because art is something that I do for myself that I enjoy, but I tend to not set time away for it. So I'm hoping that this will force me to set time for myself. One of my struggles is blogging, I often don't want to say the wrong thing so instead I say nothing. I'm excited for this new year!
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Practicing

     Over the break I have been practicing my forms by myself a lot and I have felt a lot of improvement. I feel my stamina getting better and the techniques that I am doing improve. This week I met up with Todai Raw to work on our 5 techniques and while we were there we worked on some of our forms together. Practicing with others is usually way better than practicing alone for me. When I'm with others, I get different ideas and feedback that helps me improve faster. And having people around keeps you motivated and makes you feel more accountable, so I'm less likely to slack off. While working with him I remembered a lot of things that we had previously discussed in class and I was able to bring it home and reapply it. 8,720 Push Ups  9,950 Sit Ups  1,090 Ks  1,163 Hand Form  1,197 Weapon  774   Sparring  1,834 Japanese  13,345 Reading Favorite word: Plethora: A large or excessive amount of something.
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